FADE IN:
INT. ARIEL PINK’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ariel Pink sits at a round, wooden kitchen table, beneath a colored stained glass chandelier. He wears big, pink-tinted sunglasses and a shirt that has large, random sections replaced with black lace. He looks too much like Kurt Cobain. He's playing Battle Ship against a typical thin, hip music video model with a new-wave hairdo, by the name of ROSE (20s). She is his girlfriend and she looks annoyed. We know Ariel has just said something stupid.
ROSE
You're so immature.
ARIEL
But, I really want to talk about mature things.
ROSE
Ariel, we need to talk.
ARIEL
No, look. There’s double agents in Athens. Polymonogamasturbators
running for president. Driftwood in the oil wells and shemales on meth.
Rose sighs. The two seem to be psychically playing the game and putting pegs into the board without having to ask letters or numbers.
ROSE
I know what you’re trying to do.
ARIEL
Look. I’ll make you some pink slime and we can talk about it.
Right? Pink slime is super good for you.
ROSE
This isn’t working Ariel.
ARIEL
Is it because I couldn’t find the spot in your time warp?
ROSE
Well, it didn’t help…
ARIEL
But baby! You're so baby!
ROSE
You stole that from Donnie & Joe Emerson!
ARIEL
Fine, B7! Oh! Who sank my battleship? I sank my own
battleship. Just like South Korea!
ROSE
You don’t know what you’re talking about.
Ariel looks away whistfully.
ARIEL
I’m having a flashback. Of how we met. At the discotheque.
Or the bibliotheque. I don’t know.
A glittery white out does not happen as we do not cut to how Ariel met Rose.
ARIEL
I knew you were a nympho right off. I walked up and
said, “I’m just a rock and roller from Beverly Hills.
My name is Ariel, and I’m a nymph.”
Rose crosses her arms.
ROSE
Are you even listening to me? It’s over Ariel.
ARIEL
Fine. I won’t call you when I want to talk about
mature things daily.
ROSE
…I should go.
ARIEL
We’ll always have Paris.
ROSE
…right…
ARIEL
One more blow job of death?
Rose looks concerned and gets up and leaves quickly out the door. Ariel plops down on his bed, cradling a stuffed animal of Nostradamus.
ARIEL
Just you and me Nosty. I just need to dream a little dream about
a girl so real.
He dozes off sleepily.
INT. ARIEL’S APARTMENT – MORNING
Ariel’s alarm goes off and he slaps it lazily. He knows that he has to get out of bed.
INT. SCHNITZEL SHOP – DAY
Ariel takes a Styrofoam container from the lady behind the counter. He walks outside of the shop and opens it, looking inside, and says disappointedly:
ARIEL
That bitch put cheese on it.
FADE OUT.
*
arielpink.com
